The Fire - Poem - 11/30/07

It doesn't matter that it's crazy
Or that it isn't right
I feel wildly alive
On fire at your touch
It's like nothing I've ever felt before
Passion unwavering
Sweetness that steals my breath
I loved you before Love had a name
I breathed you before I lived
We burn together
Souls aligned once more

Everytime I Say I Love You - Poem - 11/11/04

Everytime I say I love you
I lose a little piece of me
His eyes don't blink
He doesn't answer
And an echo in my mind says "no"
I know it's pointless, even stupid
To let go is harder than I imagined
But everytime I see him
The words are in my heart
And I can't be a prisoner of silence
I look after him as he walks away
Trying to remain impassive
But-
Everytime I say I love you
I lose the most important part of me

Untitled - Poem - 11/20/07

If I should push
I'm well aware
You're a stubborn wall of ice
But if I should fly
I see you care
And you try to hold me still
Your heart cries its strangled cry
You ask without asking
Plead with soundless voice
Hands I try to grip
Slip away in the darkness
I find you again and hold you upright
Your smile is pained
Yet it glows dimly
And now your grip is deadly
I see it all in your eyes so plainly
A heart that staggers and has no reprieve
But it's mine
So it's safe
For always

King of the Sun and Moon - Poem - 7/1/05

He's a lonely soldier
Blonde and sea-eyed, and not much older
Than a casual frat-boy on the brink of Adult
A beautiful specimen
With a heart spun from gold
And hands that create miracles
His soul is far from home, one can tell
He's a faraway dream walking among us
But he rules all he surveys
The landscape of my heart and still more
He's the King of the Sun and Moon
Like a god and like a child
Strikes without warning and without malice
He grants me my wishes and takes nothing away

(Dedicated to MW, and to the truest love I've found)

Why Is It Never Me? Poem 5/1/02

The glass slipper by Cinderella worn
The starry skies over love-knit moment
The smile to greet me at morning’s touch
Why is it never me
Who sees such simple glories?
Diamond ring full of promise
Secret stroke in between attention spasms
A flower and paper note to share
Why is it never me
Who sees these things?
A heartfelt vow
A gaze so full of forever thoughts
Why is it never me?

The Fondness of Memory – Poem 5/1/02

Ah the fondness of memory
Sweeping over years of tumult
In a life scarcely graced by the hand of love
Painful moments captured
In a frozen hourglass
Too weak to feel alive
Too tired to stand on their own

When Will Never Be Ever? – Poem 5/1/02

When will never be ever?
I ask myself
Solemnity my colorless mask
Tears of frustrated agony seeping
I am tried and true but my efforts are not
When you eclipse all that has meaning
When will never be ever?
The door will close on a tortured love
That should never have seen the light of day
But never will soon become forever
And I will wilt like flowers on a grave

The Disappearing Man – Poem – 12/11/08

You’re here for a moment, then you’re gone
Just when I thought you’d stay you moved on
So I act as if the end is already here
Sick to my stomach with unsettling fears
Can’t eat, don’t want to call your phone
Assuming you’re probably happier alone
You play me for a fool, the disappearing man
Cowering in silence with closed hands
How many times have you ignored me this week
How many times did you wish you could speak
And say to me, I prefer you to let me be
Trapped in my murkiness and sullen insecurity
All I know of your heart is a song by Tool
You push as I pull, you claw me away, being cruel
I face another bleak December – you detached
I had such a joyous November – thought I was matched
Up with someone who wanted me in his heartlight
Instead of someone who would rather just write
Me off and pretend that I never existed
Your love is just so twisted

Night Is Where The Truth Comes From – Song 8/25/07

I’m lookin’ at the clock sayin’ 2 am
You’re sleepin so peaceful beside me
But there’s that little voice singin’ again
The one that’s startin’ to chide me
It’s sayin’ your love is in a blackout
It’s sayin’ your love is in a hole
And nothin’s ever gonna be the same

When the moon is high that’s when the soul starts a talkin’
There’s nothin’ you can do to stop that flow
When the stars are out your memory starts a walkin’
And now I’ve gone and done a big Uh Oh!
It doesn’t matter what you say in the light of sun
‘Cause night is where the truth comes from

I’m lookin’ at the ring on my hand
Wonderin’ what I’ve been doin’
Desperately hopin’ that you’re the right man
But somethin’ troublin’ is brewin’
It’s sayin’ I didn’t get the message
It’s sayin’ I’m makin’ a mistake
And I’ve got little time to make it right

When the moon is high that’s when the soul starts a talkin’
There’s nothin’ you can do to stop that flow
When the stars are out your memory starts a walkin’
And now I’ve gone and done the big Uh Oh!
It doesn’t matter what you say in the light of sun
‘Cause night is where the truth comes from

I left you at the altar oh yeah I’m crass
But that memory showed up on the doorstep
With time slippin’ through the hourglass
I broke all the promises I kept
Heart’s sayin’ honey I’m so sorry
Heart’s sayin’ honey I feel bad
But still my heart is sayin’ welcome back to the greatest love I ever had!
Honey I know you say it’ ain’t right
Honey I know you’ve seen the light
But honey, I’m someone ELSE’s honey, and you can blame it on the night!

When the moon is high that’s when the soul starts a talkin’
There’s nothin’ you can do to stop that flow
When the stars are out your memory starts a walkin’
And now I’ve gone and done the big Uh Oh!
It doesn’t matter what you say in the light of sun
‘Cause night is where the truth comes from

My Reincarnation – Song/Poem 2007

In my last life, I made so many mistakes
It’s time to make it right I know
In this life, I’ll do whatever it takes
To try and heal your sorrow
You said that I used you, I abused you,
“You were expendable to me”
You said I cursed your whole damned life
It’s unthinkable to me
But I’m holding your hand now,
Loving with all I’m worth
I never quite learned how, but today is my rebirth
I’ll give you anything and everything,
If you’ll just be patient……with me
You are the greatest part of my reincarnation

I wandered, so lost, could not find your light
It’s a miracle I’m even here
I saw your tears fall late in the night
I prayed to God I could appear
I’d hold you, would’ve told you,
“You’re indispensable to me”
Fear made things impossible,
Oh how I wished you’d see
But I’m holding your hand now,
Loving with all I’m worth
I never quite learned how, but today is my rebirth
I’d still do anything and everything; my life is yours just take it….from me
You are the greatest part of my reincarnation

We’ve lived a thousand lives you and I, a powerful testament
To a bond we should have cultivated more
The lesson we learned is that this love we have is heaven-sent
I can’t bear for you to ever close this door….on me

Apprentice and master, no reason no rhyme
Why must we always do this dance?
Faster and faster, we spin out of time
Are we going to lose this chance?
You taught me, and you fought me, gave me all you had
You spent it all unselfishly, or were you simply mad!
But I’m holding you up now,
Bleeding love as you bled
I wish I could learn how
To resurrect what’s dead
I’ll still give you anything and everything; the choice is yours just make it….you’ll see
You are the greatest part of my reincarnation

For the man that I love...the essence of us