Alone

Mother can you see the hand I'm dealt?
Sobbing sorrowfully as I contemplate the grim
A reality that I cannot smell or taste
Can no longer dream into existence
You told me one day I'd grow up and succeed
That flesh was flesh and spirit outgrew it
A heart in its space had more to give
Than all of the wrinkled green rectangles
Floating around our planet
I don't know where all the candy canes went
And where are all the smiles at a fiery dawn?
Caged and incoherent, I scream into the night
Lost and shaking in seizures I pass on
Alone
Forgotten
Alone.

BOOK

I finally published something. Since I was a child, one moment I always looked forward to (for I knew it was coming the first time I lost myself in a story) was the moment when I would hold my first published work in my hand. Such a feeling of love washed over me as I held that creation....my poetry book Eternity of Wishes. Yes, you might say I am being dramatic, but to look at my ISBN number, and to see the little c with the circle around it...and to know that my burst of emotion is now encapsulated in this small thing....this beautiful work...borne of the deepest agonies I have ever experienced and some of the most incredible joys.....dear God, what an awesome and special moment!


http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/wanderingmystic

New Start Old Self

I seem to have found my rhythm so to speak, these days. Miracles are happening all around me, and I have strengthened my intuitive capabilities so much that I no longer feel recognize them! I am amazed at the things that I manifest almost on a daily basis now. It never used to be this easy, that I could just meditate and call on the powers-that-be and they would shower me with untold gifts. That was so not the life I was used to....the intensity of gratefulness quells my appetite and literally has me floating....

Eternity of Wishes (April 1993)

We grew up far apart
Two soulmates who never found our way
To the light of knowing
You were seventeen- a man of purpose-
I met you- all trembling hands and stuttering voice
Ignored in a sea of faces
Faces attached to minds that couldn't see your essence
I was fifteen- shy and yet confident
As I threaded my way to the front
Of the sweaty squealing crowd
That humid southern April day
Little me among the huntresses-
A barrier of wood between us, your persona
Fanning out like smoke from a fire
Encasing your private self
And hiding you from prying hand and eye
So many wishing wells in those days-
They appeared everywhere
Those alabaster reminders that only silver or gold
Would sway the Quiet Watcher of us all
I tossed my coins in, praying for you
Praying for me
Praying that somehow we could one day shake hands
And smile in delight at our friendship
My heart still holds fast to the hope
That an eternity of wishes will bring you to me
That the purest love will show that we are one

**** special note to you JL - I thank you for bringing your special brand of magic to the world and I hope that you will "follow" Mystic717 -you're missing out on a good friend ;-)

The Fire - Poem - 11/30/07

It doesn't matter that it's crazy
Or that it isn't right
I feel wildly alive
On fire at your touch
It's like nothing I've ever felt before
Passion unwavering
Sweetness that steals my breath
I loved you before Love had a name
I breathed you before I lived
We burn together
Souls aligned once more

Everytime I Say I Love You - Poem - 11/11/04

Everytime I say I love you
I lose a little piece of me
His eyes don't blink
He doesn't answer
And an echo in my mind says "no"
I know it's pointless, even stupid
To let go is harder than I imagined
But everytime I see him
The words are in my heart
And I can't be a prisoner of silence
I look after him as he walks away
Trying to remain impassive
But-
Everytime I say I love you
I lose the most important part of me

Untitled - Poem - 11/20/07

If I should push
I'm well aware
You're a stubborn wall of ice
But if I should fly
I see you care
And you try to hold me still
Your heart cries its strangled cry
You ask without asking
Plead with soundless voice
Hands I try to grip
Slip away in the darkness
I find you again and hold you upright
Your smile is pained
Yet it glows dimly
And now your grip is deadly
I see it all in your eyes so plainly
A heart that staggers and has no reprieve
But it's mine
So it's safe
For always